As Near as I Can Figure
I lost time last week. I remember walking out of the facility Thursday afternoon thinking about the route I would plan for my avid readers. I know it was a great run, full of fun twists, that would have left you fulfilled as runners and as human beings. Your lives would be forever changed after running this route. Then, making my way through the darkness from the security buildings to my trailer, I knew this would be the best weekly plan I had for the BRC since my debut.
Cue the overwhelming bright light.
I felt completely immobilized as a huge sound overwhelmed the generators in the background, and I found myself staring into a giant beam of light. I wasn’t afraid. We have strange aircraft over the site from time to time. But this felt somehow different. My body went completely limp, and I felt as if the dentist had just turned on the gas. After I awoke, Thanksgiving was over, I was lying in my room in the housing complex, and my entire left side was… not numb? But tingling. I had lost 4 days. Where had I been? Over the next two days I was terribly confused, but I have begun to piece together what happened.
I had to have been taken by aliens. I remember a cold metal slab, and two creatures with large lifeless eyes hovering over me as I lay unable to move or speak. I saw the large metal object they were pointing at me, hoping desperately that it was “for external use only.” I was determined not to break. I had to remember the route. I had to share it with the club. This will be the route for which the BRC becomes famous. Alas, whatever they took from me, they also took that route. Lost forever in the vast emptiness of space and time. I can only console myself with the knowledge that you all know the club runs every Saturday from the Common at 0645, with or without me.
I will keep trying to rediscover my ultimate route. It must be in there somewhere, suppressed deep in my subconscious. Until then, maybe you can just run to Haverhill.
Haverhill the Hard Way: 11.4 https://www.mapmyrun.com/routes/fullscreen/1745985692/
· XX Dec 2021 – BRC Christmas Run
I swear it to be true, unless I was in such a hurry to get to Thanksgiving, I simply blew it off in the knowledge that you are all experienced runners who can think for yourselves, and you can’t lynch me while I’m 6500 miles away. Mea culpa.